My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
