she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
