I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Terrible idea I love it
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
