Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
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