In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
