party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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