Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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