I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
