Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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