i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
