so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize