I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
