how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
