Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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