Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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