Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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