she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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