so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
