jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I DEMAND FORESKIN
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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