if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Every concussion has its silver lining
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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