First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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