If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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