real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
