I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
