Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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