I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
this boner is exhausting
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
We left the knife in your bed.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
