then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
