Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Randomize
