Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
