I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
