So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
