Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize