I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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