you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
