I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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