Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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