so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Someone shattered a urinal.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
