There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
