My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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