as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
