We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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