If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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