It's Friday. Sex?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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