On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
