made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
