do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize