I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just want nice things and good sex
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
