Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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