I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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