im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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