I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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