I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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