So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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