I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
