I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
