great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
