Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
My breasts were aching with rage.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
