This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
